Hmmm, Ten? : Perceptive, Stubborn, Determined, Caring, Direct, Openminded, Strange, Overthinker, Laidback,Serious......
yup all of these.....somehow lol
   

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

  I'm at a crossroads....One I didn't think I'd have to face for a long time...truth is i'm conflicted and terrified and angry and hurt and so so many more things that it overwelmes me to simply rifle through them in my mind.

  See I'm with this guy who fundementally fits, connects with me and its so rewarding and relieving to find that in someone but that complete and confident feeling doesn't last. He drops this bomb, this tiny seeming, reality altering BOMB...and acts as if its nothing but a dud, or maybe I'm the dud...and now I'm left with this decision: Grapple onto the stability I seem to be still trying to build and only barely succeeding or attempt this life this life I don't believe I can do without compromizing myself both physically and a little spiritually and yet im tempted, more then tempted to try, but the feeling doesn't last it comes and goes like this messanger bird that i can't train. I love him but could I do this? could I do the things ive seen in others, mistakes and suffering or could it be different for me? Everytime I think I have an answer It doesnt feel concrete, real enough to define itself as truth.

  So when he returns from his adventure I keep seeing two scenarios in my head as to my responses: A seasoned warrior heading straight forward into the fray or the subdued maiden bound and willing to be sacrificed in hopes of becoming more and readily connected...overdramatic? definitely but still feeling oddly accurate, but I still dont know which one feels more true and thats the problem.

  Just once I'd like something to be easeful, not necessarily easy for im too complicated to be happy with that, but I'm tired of heavy choices and harsh truths all the time...I can't remember the last time I felt genuinely content and confident in my situation and that is a problem that could snowball if ignored. Do I love him? Yes. Is it enough? We'll see.

Until another night,

 WiccaVamp

So its been a long few weeks,

 

 Marc came down which was cool, but the week he came down became one big loop of drama. We finally hashed out all that really needed to be said to one another, which honestly was going to happen eventually and i think should have happened awhile ago but it happened then. I realised that I love him and I'm not ashamed of it, am I in love with him? No, but he's one of my closest friends and i'm not going anywhere when he needs me i'm gonna be there, but he's frustrating me right now too. How? He's got a choice to make and I fear he's gonna make it for the wrong reasons and fuck himself over in the end. I can't do anything about it cause it is his decision but my god doesnt he realise how bad its gonna get? I know hes scared but he needs to do whats best in general and I know its not my issue but I care about his wellbeing so it bugs me. He told me something about myself (how he views me) that is bothering me to. Bothering me because he might be right, and I dont want him to be.

  I broke up with Justin,not because we weren't good together but because something about me keeps distancing myself from those who love me and I need to figure out why. Whats weird is how i feel more affectionate towards him now then,say, a week ago when we were together....fucked up.Which makes me think of the Marc comment which pisses me off lol vicious circle that it is.Vincent and I are getting on better terms, which is good but hes also bein kind of weirdly affectionate which is not too big an issue, lets hope it doesnt progress however or we will need to chat, which will probably turn him into an ass again *sigh*.

  I need to figure out what i want and need but I'm frustrated and confused, its gonna be hard but I need to do this.I just hope we can all do the right thing in the end. We'll see.